Relativity

Heather was still awake when her buzzer went off at 2am. She scrunched her eyes briefly and continued browsing Amazon. The buzzer went off again. Probably a rando with the wrong apartment number, she figured. Or a stalker hitting all the buttons in the hopes someone will let them in. Or a vampire looking for an invite. Goddamn vampires.

When the buzzer went off a third time, Heather put her laptop aside and rolled off the beanbag chair and padded to the intercom.

“Who is it?” she asked as she mashed in the talk button.

“Let me in, bitch.”

Heather punched the door button. A minute later Jess strolled into the apartment and kicked off her sandals. She said, “UGH.”

“Roommate trubs?” Heather asked, already back in her beanbag chair, sipping on green tea.

Jess helped herself to some tea. “Worse. Relative trubs.”

“Relative to what?”

“To…” Jess couldn’t think of a clever reply, so she said, “Fuck off. I have some relatives in town. They’re staying at my place and giving me all the trubs. It’s Trubs City over there. It’s President-Elect Donald Trubs in that apartment, baby. I don’t know what to do.” When she came into the living room from the kitchen she had a cup of tea and held her forehead in her palm.

“I’m thinking of getting some new headphones,” said Heather, nestling her butt into the chair.

Jess lay on the sofa, legs stretched out and crossed at the ankles. “You don’t care at all about my relatives.”

“No.”

“They like Constance.”

“Nobody likes Constance. What do you think of these headphones?”

Jess looked over Heather’s shoulder. The headphones were bright red. “They’re cute,” she said. “I don’t know how effective they are at music playing, though.”

“I don’t listen to music anymore,” said Heather. She clicked on the one click buy button. “Nickelback ruins the entire enterprise for me. I only listen to podcasts now.”

“One band ruins all of music for you?”

“Have you listened to Nickelback?”

“Fair point. My great aunt and uncle are staying in my room. I sleep on the couch, except Constance always orders pizza at night and eats in front of the TV. And when my relatives hear it, they join her. But they say they can’t sleep on couches, so–”

“Jess, Jess. Shh. I don’t care.”

“I don’t know why I came over here.”

“Because I have tea and pot. Let’s listen to podcasts. You can sleep in your old room. I converted it into a podcast room. There’s just a futon and a desk for my laptop. Pretty soon it’ll have headphones. I might have to repaint to match the headphones.”

“I think I’ll just sleep,” said Jess. Heather began typing loudly.

 

 


 

 

Day 336’s three random writing prompt categories were, “Show, don’t tell,” “Distant relatives,” and, “Jess and Heather.”

Those two have a unique relationship.

– H.

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