Look at this Sasq

In the lineup at the gym’s cafe was a large naked hairy man thing. Everyone else in line was on their phones and didn’t notice. Heather, who was the gym barista, noticed. She was making a latte, and fucked up her leaf when the sight of the upright gorilla person made her flinch. Barista instinct kicked in and she managed to finish off the latte reasonably well. She handed it to her customer, who grunted and didn’t look up from her phone before leaving.

Heather kept her eyes on the Sasquatch while she served the next customer in line. It looked at her with its dark, forward-facing eyes sitting atop its upturned nose and long face. Drool cascaded in a little thread down its lip and into its furry chin. The thing was naked, but covered in fur. Was it a costume? It had to be.

After the next customer got their coffee, the Sasquatch stepped closer. It was only slightly hunched, with long limbs and leonine teeth, revealed when it breathed heavily through its mouth. It wasn’t quite an ape and not quite a human. How did no one notice? Too busy catching Pokemon?

It swung its head around the gym, grunting, slapping its chest here and there with huge hands. It nodded its head to the music that was playing on the radio. Look at this phooo-dagraph…

Another customer passed, and the Sasquatch advanced in the queue. Heather could smell it, reeking of BO and wet dog. Why would a bigfoot come here? she wondered. A gym, maybe, but a cafe? And why this gym?

Then it dawned on her. The music.

Surreptitiously, she reached under the counter and turned the Nickelback all the way down. The Sasquatch looked confused, then disappointed. Then it walked out of the gym cafe. Heather breathed a sigh of relief–she didn’t know what it would do when it got up to the counter. Did Sasquatches like coffee? Probably not. The only thing they liked was Nickelback. And they were the only things that could like it.

 

 


 

 

Day 296’s three random writing prompt categories were, “Over coffee,” “Sasquatch,” and, “Poor taste in music.”

Har har, Nickelback is bad. I expect this took place during Heather’s gymbarista phase.

– H.

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