Jess and Heather went to visit the hag in the forest to get their fortunes told. Yes, there was an old tarot card reader living in a tiny hut in the woods south of Edmonton. Why wouldn’t there be?
It was a stupid idea to go, which was why Heather went. Jess was just bored, and considered a career hagging in the forest.
They had to follow GPS to locate the hut. The old crone drew them in with impeccably gnarled fingers. Jess wanted to know how to gnarl her fingers. It was essential to being a hag.
Every wooden board in the hut was warped. The two guests wondered how the old woman survived winters. They both assumed magic.
Heather said, “I’d like to have a reading.”
“Wouldn’t you like some tea first?” the old woman crooned. “Some gingerbread? Some pot?”
Jess and Heather partook of all three. To be polite.
Finally, the hag drew for Heather. She received, “The chariot,” “The tower,” and “The lovers” (this one reversed). The crone explained that the cards meant Heather was determined to change her fate, since she was unlucky in love. Or something like that.
Heather said, “Sure, okay. But will I succeed?”
The hag said, “What matters is you will try.”
What a sassy bitch, Jess thought. She liked the old woman–the little Yoda lady. Yeah, this would be a good life. Far, far away from people.
For Jess, the hag drew, “The hermit,” “The magician,” and “The fool.” Heather laughed at the “fool” card, but the hag explained that it meant Jess was adventurous. That she preferred to be alone, and had a rare talent.
“I have many rare talents,” Jess said.
The crone shrugged.
“Let’s go,” said Heather. “I need to go try to be a good lover or whatever. Unless you’d rather stay in the forest?”
“Maybe I will,” said Jess, as they left the cabin.
“Easier to convince you than I thought,” said Heather. She was wondering about love.
Jess looked back at the cabin. She wished it would have vanished, but it was still there. There was no magic in the world.
“Fuck it,” she said. “Let’s go get McDonalds. I need some nugs.”
“Word,” said Heather. She’d start her diet tomorrow.
Today’s three random prompt categories were, “The hag in the forest,” “Tarot cards,” and “Jess and Heather.”
Those two always amuse me. I think hagging would be a great job. It’s my retirement plan.