Who

It’s four in the morning as I’m writing this.

My body’s default operating mode seems to be on a nocturnal clock. That is to say, when I don’t need to do something during the day (such as work or school) I will sleep in and then stay up till sunrise. Doesn’t matter if I’ve been diligently waking up at 7:30 for a year straight. As soon as I take a week off for Xmas or something, I’ll be an owl that very night and stay that way until I go back.

Apparently I’ve been this way since I was a baby. I don’t know if I was born wrong or what, but I have an easier time thinking and working during the night than I do during the day. Maybe it’s because I’m an introvert and nighttime means alone time. I’m the only one who lives by this schedule so I can take advantage of the quiet and think clearly. Unfortunately, the world does not accommodate us owls very well. There are too few 24-hour retail stores or restaurants, and your friends and family think you just sleep all the time. They don’t consider that I feel the same way about them as soon as my beloved stars come out and I’m the only one left wide awake.

Parties, get-togethers, sleepovers, good dates–I’m always the last person to fall asleep. And it’s so common for people to pass out during movies or whatever, but I never do. Almost ever–except when I used to watch Battlestar Galactica with my friends.

I kind of have to fight against everyone else. I work around their schedules because it’s silly and selfish to expect people to work around mine. I’m the freak. I like to imagine some day I will be a successful writer and be able to set my own schedule, but I also try to be realistic. I’ll always have to peel open my big owlish eyes every morning in order to live in this world where the rules were made up a long, long time ago.

Or maybe I should stop complaining and take up drinking coffee.

– H.

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